Haircut!

When the lockdown came there were some things that worried me. Would we be able to get food? Would there be really long queues? I hate queues! Would we really have to stay inside or would we be able to go out at least sometimes? What would I do without the gym? How would church work? What would my job become and how would I do it? And one thing nagged me so much so that I actually woke up one night thinking about it: how would I cut my hair? I woke the next morning and tried to get some perspective. What’s really important here? And what does it matter if my hair grows long? Surely everyone will be in the same boat, apart from those lucky enough to be locked down with a hairdresser! I began to wonder why I didn’t become a hairdresser, but then I could never have anticipated this pandemic! I get a haircut about every five to six weeks. This week is week is eight. In my panic, right at the beginning of this lockdown, I bought an electric hair trimmer. No really I did! I charged it and then put it in the bedside cupboard ready for use. But of course it wouldn’t be me who used it. Cutting hair is one thing. Cutting my own another thing completely! So it sat there in the bedside cupboard. Until today. Yes, today was haircut day. We had the courage to have a go (I say we because it took courage from both of us!). I did have the foresight to buy a trimmer with lots of settings for different lengths of cut. And…it’s ok! My hair that is. It’s shorter and tidier and if you’re looking at me from the front you don’t notice it’s not quite the same on both sides. Not bad for complete novices! But here’s what I think: some things are best left to the experts! We managed. It’s ok. But my haircut is not as good as when my hairdresser does it. And no doubt he’ll laugh at me when he sees me (he did tell me not to try cutting my own hair). Some things I can have a go at. But there are some things I can’t. Ever. I can’t make God love me. I can’t. I can try, but it doesn’t make any difference. It is wonderfully true that there is nothing I can do to make God love me. Nothing at all. There is nothing I can do to make him love me more than he does, and there is nothing I can do to make him love me less. He loves me because he loves me, because he loves me…What staggers me is that even though I know that truth, I still find myself trying to make it happen. I’m trying to give it up. And I really should. After all, God is the expert in love.