Ripetide

I don’t really know anything about riptides except they are really dangerous. In fact they kill more people than sharks apparently. I just read that in a book, so it must be true! I don’t have much experience of riptides either, except for the time we went to the island of Ocracoke in the Outer Banks off the North Carolina Coast with Lisa’s family in 2018. It’s basically all beach - a long thin island where the famous pirate Blackbeard was suppose to have stayed. Obviously we spent time on the beach since there was nothing else to do. There were beach rituals to be observed, one of which was my brother-in-law scanning the ocean for riptides. We had to find a part of the beach that was riptide free. And this was a beach that was 12 miles long! The thing is, riptides are real and dangerous. We were educated into being able to spot a riptide, because if you get caught in one you may not survive. No-one knows what causes riptides, but apparently the way to survive them is to do what is counterintuitive. The most natural thing to do if you suddenly find yourself being pulled out to sea, is to try to swim back to shore. But swimming against a riptide is all but impossible, even for a good swimmer. Swim against a riptide and you become exhausted. The answer is to go with the flow. To let the riptide take you out into the ocean and not to fight. It is to let go of any control. Once out in the ocean, where the riptide fades, you have a chance to survive. And maybe swim to shore. Not in the sea, but I think I might get caught in riptides. And it’s exhausting. They are the riptides that come from trying to be enough. To keep up the appearance in church - the expectations that everyone has of a Minister (even when I don’t know what those expectations really are until I fail). To have the “right” theology lest people think I’m a heretic, of have lost my way. To keep fit proving I’m not really getting older. To work harder and longer to prove I’m indispensable. I could go on. No, really I could on! These “riptides” are a way of telling me I’m not enough, but there’s a solution out there if only I can keep up. But it doesn’t work. Ever. I get sucked into all kinds of things to prove to myself (and maybe to you) I’m enough. And the tragedy is, I am. Already enough that is. God loves me because he loves me because he loves me. I’m enough. I don’t have to do anything to earn my enoughness. It’s a gift. I don’t think I’ll be searching the sea for riptides anytime soon. But now it’s on my radar, I’ll be scanning some of the things I do to feel enough, and inviting God to meet me there. And when I’m there, to learn to let go of trying to be enough, of going with the flow of God’s great love. To swim in the ocean of that love and knowing I’m enough. And maybe you could too.