Armour

It started as a normal Sunday. I attended the early morning prayer meeting, went straight to the church to get ready for the service, and delivered the talk. At the end of the service someone approached me, as sometimes happens, and I thought they’d come to talk to me about what I’d said in the talk. Turns out I was wrong. Very wrong. “Could we meet sometime on Tuesday?” I was asked. “I think that’s possible,” I replied. It turned out it wasn’t being asked to meet someone on Tuesday, but to go to Spurgeon’s College for the whole day to speak to ministerial students and lead them in a quiet day! That’s a whole lot different to meeting someone on Tuesday! In a panic I said I think that might be possible. Usually Tuesday is the day I put aside to write a talk, but, when it’s an All Age Service preparation is quite different. So I thought, I can probably do that. Until I remembered that I do my counselling work with St. Catherine’s Hospice between 5pm and 8pm on a Tuesday evening. But here’s the thing: my counselling work is all on the ‘phone or Zoom, so I can be anywhere with a phone signal and an internet connection. So I said, “Yes, I can do that if I can stay at Spurgeon’s to do my counselling work.” That was the easy bit. “So, what do you want me to do?” I asked. “Well, the Regional Minister, Team Leader, who was doing it but now has COVID so can’t, was going to talk about the four seasons of ministry from 1 Kings!” “OK,” I replied. I was sent the timetable and the outline of the talks (and their titles) so I could work out what I would say. And I went away to think about what had just happened. I had just agreed to go to Spurgeon’s College, to speak to students training for ministry, over four session of 40mins each and encourage them to reflect on what I had said. And I was to speak on something someone else had prepared. By the time I got home from the service, it dawned me that I had three hours to prepare four talks on something I knew nothing about! We’ve just started a new Life Group on a Sunday evening, and on Sunday, we were hosting and serving the meal around which we meet! And, on a Monday I’m at East Surrey hospital as a Chaplain. What had I done? This was a nightmare of my own making. Why didn’t I just say “NO!” I sat on the stairs and wondered how on earth I was going to do this day with the students. Perhaps it was a God thing, but as I was talking to Lisa about what I’d done, I remembered that I had gone to Malawi (even thought I didn’t want to do that either) and spoken to church leaders from the book of Joshua. And I had four talks I’d given already prepared. So maybe…I went back to the church and spent the afternoon looking through my notes and adding thoughts that might be helpful. On Tuesday morning I got up really early and drove to Spurgeon’s, getting there at 7am so I wasn’t stuck in traffic somewhere along the route, and delivered my talks during the day to the students, who all came to all four sessions (possibly because it was compulsory)! It was a lovely day for me, and from the feedback they gave me, a good day for them too! But the first thing I spoke about was the point of this blog: it struck me that me trying to do what the Regional Minister was going to do, was like David trying to fight Goliath in Saul’s armour (remember that story?) David’s gift was being a shepherd and five smooth stones and a sling were part of his skill set. Armour wasn’t. David did what he was good at, not what others decided for him. One of the students came to me at the end of the day and said, “You may have been third choice for today Ian,” (another Regional Minister had been asked too, but he couldn’t do the day either), “but you were God’s choice. This day has been really helpful. Thank you.” Wow! I was there wondering what possessed me to say yes, wondering if what I had to offer was going to be in any way relevant to the students, and yet, it seemed God was able to take what I had to offer and use it. But, I couldn’t have worm someone else’s armour. I could not have done what the Regional Minster was going to do. It simply would not have worked. To have confidence in who God has made me is really important. He isn’t going to ask me to be like someone else, or do what they would do. And he isn’t going to ask you to do that either! I had to take off someone else’s armour. And maybe you do too.