32 and counting...

Today is my (our) thirty second wedding anniversary. I know I don’t look old enough! And yet, here I am writing a blog. It’s a very different day to the day of our wedding, that’s for sure. It was a cold, but sunny March day in 1991 and I remember it well. It changed my life. And I can honestly say I’m a better person for having met and married Lisa. We’ve been privileged to enjoy thirty two years together (and a few years before that while we figure out we wanted to get married). Not everyone gets that. My mum and dad didn’t. They had nine years together before dad died suddenly and unexpectedly at the age of thirty five. And I’m fully aware that not everyone gets married and that some marriages turn out not to be good. Today though, as I remember our wedding thirty two years ago, I realise that much has changed. The world is not the same as it was back then. And I am not the same person I was back then. That at least, is a good thing. A very good thing. I was young and full of enthusiasm for life and the future when I got married. I still like to think I’m young, but I see and understand life every differently now. I think that’s a good thing. And, I’m a different husband than I was on 23rd March 1991. If you asked Lisa to describe me in a few words she would say: “He’s my wonderful, difficult man!” (I know that’s true because we’ve talked about it and she told me.) I know I have some wonderful qualities (although I sometimes have to look really hard to find them). But I also know that I can be difficult. Sometimes very difficult. I’m hoping I’m less difficult now, but you’d have to ask Lisa about that! I do know though, that I’ve changed because I’ve spent thirty two years married to Lisa. Without wishing to get all sloppy, I also know that, in large part, I’ve changed because I’ve been with someone who if “for” me. And when you’re with someone who if “for” you it has a transformative effect. I can be lovely and attentive and fun and considerate, but I can also be selfish and rude and unreasonable and unkind. What I’ve learnt is that when someone is “for” you, love can win even when I am at my worst. And it has. I’ve been reading this week about the love that God has for us and how it’s reflected in the marriage relationship. The passion that we can find in marriage gives us, perhaps, a small inkling into what God thinks of us. GK Chesterton coined the phrase “The furious longing of God” by which he meant the passion that causes God to pursue us in love. It’s a powerful image. If I can love Lisa and she can love me, and if we can be married for thirty two years with all our highs and lows, how much more is God pursuing us in love? That’s quite a thought. I’m not sure we have any idea how much God loves. But I’m going to hold onto the thought of God pursuing me in love, when I’m wonderful and when I’m difficult. We’re going to celebrate our thirty second wedding anniversary by going to the New Forest. Maybe I would do well to think about how I could celebrate the truth that God’s love and mercy pursues me all the days of my life, until I dwell in the house of the Lord forever, in the love that never ends. And the truth that God is “for” me.