Funerals

It’s a week of funerals this week. One of someone I knew quite well and worked with for twenty years or so, and a couple for people for whom I’ve done other family funerals. It’s always a sobering day because it’s a reason to reflect on how one lives. One of the most important parts of a funeral service, (or whatever we might call it), is the part where we share memories of the person who has died. We did that today and we'll do it at the two I’ll be a taking on Friday. I’ve taken enough funeral over the years to wonder what someone might say at mine. One thing is sure, I will have a funeral! Just not sure when yet! After the service today, a guy came up to me in the car park. I thought he’d been looking at me through the service as if he knew me, but I couldn’t place him. He rang no bells. But as we were waiting to leave for the committal, he came to speak to me. As soon as he walked towards me, I thought, “I know who this is!” And I did. We had played football together twenty fives years ago! He was one of the best players I played with, and I was always glad he was on my team. I wouldn’t have liked to defend against him, that’s for sure. We got into conversation, mostly about football and some of the memories we had, and then he said this to me: “I always knew you were religious, but I didn’t know you were that religious!” He didn’t mean much by that comment, certainly not in a negative way. He was simply saying he remembered playing football with me. He didn’t realise I was a minister. To be fair, I wasn’t a minister when we played together. At least I don’t think I was! And it’s the language people who are not familiar with church use: religious. I wouldn’t describe myself as religious, but I understand why others do. What strikes me though, is that however someone might describe me, it’s not the description they put on it that matters. Not really. It’s how I live that matters. You can call it what you want. What matters, is that I live in a way that is true to what I say I believe. I was listening to a minister talk about his church the other day. He was saying he doesn’t want his church to be stuck on doctrine or theology. What he wants, is for people to live what they say they believe. Amen to that. So I wonder what people will say about me! Funnily enough, it occurs to me that I might not be in control of what people say at my funeral, but I am pretty much in control of how I choose to live. And I and certainly in control of my attitude to life. If you asked right now what I’d like others to say at my funeral, I would use the words of an Amy Grant song. I hope they’d say something like: “Ian had his Father’s eyes.” That would be good enough. Actually that would be great.