Furnace

My dad used to say that whatever he was preaching on is what he would be tested on. I don’t remember my dad, but that’s what my mum told me. Turns out it’s often true. Thanks dad! But it’s also really annoying. Actually it’s more challenging than annoying. I find myself preaching a series where three young men face the furnace. Literally. And it’s that sermon this week! You see, here’s the thing: my idea to plunge into a series in the book of Daniel seemed a good idea in the context of the COVID-19 pandemic. This is a second choice world if ever there was one. But then, I had no idea when I put a plan together what would be happening for me the weeks of the sermon on “Even if He does not…” followed by, “In the furnace!” But here we are. And here I am. I’m wrestling with what is in my head and what is in my heart. And, I’m a minister who is supposed to be leading the followers of Christ we call Crawley Baptist Church. I’ve declared: “Our God is able!” And I believe that. Well, I think I do. And I believe that God is quite capable of meeting me (or anyone else for that matter) in the furnace. I love to speak about that, and I will be. So, what am I saying? Well, just that it’s now real. It’s not just good words for the flock (although I really do believe they are good words). It’s about life and choices and figuring out what to do with this thing called faith. So, being totally honest, I feel like I’m standing on the edge of the furnace and I have to make a choice. What I wrestle with is that it’s not a case of right and wrong. Mostly that’s pretty straightforward to decide. It might be case of better or worse, although it might not even be that. It might though be a case of trusting my gut or not. It might be case of trusting my experience of God or not. It might be a case of making a decision and leaving the consequences with God. And that’s what’s so hard. I went for a run this evening (not my best time but a second quicker than the last run). By the time I got home, having spent the whole time chewing all tis over in my mind, I think I know what I think now. And maybe, if I’m writing this blog in a few months time, maybe a year’s time, I might be able to tell you if I was right in what I was thinking (although knowing me I’ll have forgotten what I was thinking by then). And I might be in the “Even if he does not” bit. But, I don’t know that now. So, my choice is really about having the courage to trust myself to him anyway. I think that’s what I’ll do.